


This gets annoying fast, Makki

by Ink_stained_quills



Series: Hanamaki Disease: Disturbing the peace of volleyball teams everywhere [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: KyouHaba - Freeform, M/M, Sejioh, aoba johsai, hanamaki disease, iwaoi - Freeform, matsuhana - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:01:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22035994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ink_stained_quills/pseuds/Ink_stained_quills
Summary: Hanamaki disease: for an unknown amount of time, Hanamaki Takahiro must go “eyyyy” whenever someone locks eyes with their crush. Thus, of course, it’s going to be pretty damn awkward for Sejioh’s volleyball team.
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru
Series: Hanamaki Disease: Disturbing the peace of volleyball teams everywhere [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604839
Comments: 37
Kudos: 731
Collections: Inky’s Crack Fics





	This gets annoying fast, Makki

**Author's Note:**

> This was based off a tumblr comic by soupfulness! I’m a hack ig
> 
> [ Hanamaki Disease Comic ](https://soupfulness.tumblr.com/post/163865596242/for-flowermaki-%EF%BE%9F-%EF%BE%9F-eyyy)
> 
> Songs!  
> Kyouhaba: Smile by Avril Lavigne  
> Iwaoi: Here’s Your Freakin’ Song by Bowling For Soup  
> Matsuhana: Heartbreak Holiday by MKTO

“Eyyyy,” Hanamaki mutters. 

Iwaizumi looks over. “What do you mean, eyyy?”

“I’m cursed?” The pink haired boy shrugs. “Long story short, I have to ‘eyyyy’ whenever someone locks eyes with their crush in my presence.”

“That’s dumb.” They practice for a long moment before Iwaizumi relents and asks: “... who was it?”

Matsukawa looks over at Iwaizumi, tired. “Dumbass.”

“You’re a dumbass!” He retorts.

“You and Oikawa, DUMBASS.” Hanamaki reiterates. “It’d be nice if you just fessed up already, or this is going to get old fast.”

Iwaizumi just sulks, fidgeting with a volleyball. “I think you’re doing it on purpose.”

“You think I want to ‘eyyyyy’ every three seconds?” Hanamaki retorts. “Look, Matsukawa -” He turns, trying to catch his friend’s eye so they can exchange a look that conveys their irritation at their friends’s obliviousness, but Matsukawa’s looking at something else.

An errant spike flies over to them, Kyoutani growling loud enough for it to echo through the gym. 

“Oi, idiot!” Yahaba yells, pissed off. “Watch where you hit those!”

“It’s your fault you didn’t set it right.” Kyoutani retorts.

Fuming, the second year setter stomps towards him. “Why, you -”

“Ah ah ah, Yahaba-chan~” Oikawa intercedes, stopping them. “As much as I’d love to see a brawl, we’ve got too many sets to practice!” The dangerous look in his eyes flashes for a moment, enough to make “Mad Dog” back up, instincts pulling him away, and Yahaba bow his head in embarrassment.

Oikawa looks over at the other three third years, clearly wondering why they’re standing around, practice temporarily abandoned. “Eyyyy,” whispers Hanamaki as Oikawa meets Iwaizumi’s eyes.

The ace groans loudly. “I get it!”

“Well then get it quicker, dude.” Hanamaki tells him. “I really can’t keep doing this.”

“Then don’t!”

“I’m CURSED, Iwaizumi, what part of cursed don’t you understand?” The two move to join the lines of kohai waiting to spike, bickering until they’re in earshot of their captain. Matsukawa presses his hand to his face, sighing. It’s going to be a long day - having a crush on your best friend/crush detector is draining, and it’s only been a few hours.

~~~

Morning practice ends, as practices tend to do, and the boys crowd into the changing room. The first years take about five minutes, with the second years taking three and the third years, minds honed and bodies trained, take one.

Oikawa takes seven, but they’ve decided it’s because he’s too spoiled.

When they leave (they waited for him), Kyoutani and Yahaba are bickering about something while Watari stands over to the side, looking hopeless. “Eyyy,” Hanamaki exclaims before he can stop himself, then blinks in shock. 

“Didn’t expect that.” Hanamaki comments.

Iwaizumi agrees, nodding at Watari as he separates the other second years. “Kyoutani, don’t bite - come on, Yahaba, pulling hair only works when your opponent has more than scruffy fluff on top of his head.”

“Didn’t expect what?” Oikawa asks, poking Hanamaki. “What do you three know that I don’t? Tell your captain, you dweebs -”

“Only dweebs call people dweebs.” Hanamaki tells him, hiding behind Matsukawa to avoid Oikawa’s bony fingers.

Offended, Oikawa gasps. “I’m super cool! Iwa-chan -” Iwaizumi doesn’t even look over, busy pushing their kohai down the hall as Watari trails after them, apologizing. “Iwa-chan, tell them I’m not a dweeb!”

Iwaizumi did no such thing.

~~~

“So, class,” Mrs. White begins, “what do you think a soulmate is?”

The class stares at her in a mix of horror, confusion, and intrigue. American Literature was taking an interesting turn as they studied Romeo and Juliet. The four boys stared at each other for a long moment.

“This is like a dream I had recently!” Hanamaki murmured. “Except there was a lot more pudding, and Matsukawa was wearing this weird kilt thing -“

Matsukawa blinked. “Keep me out of your creepy dreams.”

“Not like that! It was a cool dream. Kinda boring though?”

“Matsukawa, Hanamaki, is there something more important than Shakespeare?”

The two jolt upright, admonished, and shake their heads. “Then perhaps,” the teacher continues, “you’d like to go first?”

Hanamaki, sighing deeply, readies himself to take one for the team. Then Matsukawa starts talking. “I think a soulmate is someone you trust implicitly, you know? They know you, because you’ve shown them who you are.”

“I think it’s more like… being there for someone.” Iwaizumi says. “You want them to be safe, even from themselves. More than you want yourself to be happy.”

“No.” Oikawa waves a hand in front of his face. “It’s to know boundaries, but also know them well enough to push it. You can be softer around them. Not your public face.”

Mrs. White looks like she wants to remind the other two that they didn’t have to answer, Hanamaki still did, but also like she’s pleased they’re responding on their own. This question must have been a hard sell in previous classes. The class is now buzzing, everyone encouraged by the sports players offering emotion, and they’re forming small groups. 

Sitting back, Hanamaki’s enjoying the intellectual debate between his friends until Matsukawa turns to him, staring over his shoulder. “What about you?”

“Oh!” Hanamaki flicks his pencil back and forth over his knuckles, fidgeting. “Never really thought of it?”

“Aww, Makki!” Oikawa whines. “But what about all that vulnerability we three just showed?” Hanamaki knows Oikawa’s joking, but there’s still the undercurrent of ‘we did it, now we’ll be embarrassed if you don’t’.

He thinks for a moment. “I think… a soulmate is someone who stands with you. As equals, someone who can look you in the eye and say, I can support you because I know you’ll support me. Someone who can make you happy, too, like - you’ve got the same kind of personality.”

“So like you and Matsun.” Oikawa points out evilly.

Matsukawa almost punches him, Oikawa dodges behind Iwaizumi to escape, and Mrs. White intercedes before things can get too heated. While the other three apologize (“Why do I have to, shittykawa?” “Because you didn’t protect me!”), Hanamaki flips his pencil faster. It really is like what he has with Matsukawa, isn’t it? Maybe he’s mistaking what a best friend should be with what he considers a soulmate.

But the thought is put out of his head easily when Mrs. White assigns classwork, and the class sets their minds to the worksheet.

~~~

“How’d you get cursed anyhow, Hanamaki?” Iwaizumi wonders as they eat lunch. 

Hanamaki simply shrugs. “It’s my superpower.”

“Bullshit.” Matsukawa says, snatching two of Oikawa’s chips. He offers one to Hanamaki, who gladly accepts as their captain screeches. “You would’ve told me.”

“I don’t have to tell you everything,” Hanamaki points out, “but fair enough.”

“I still don’t think this ‘curse’ is real.” Oikawa says. Opening his yogurt, he pointedly glares over at Iwaizumi. 

“What, you wanna meet his eyes and find out?” Hanamaki challenges him. Iwaizumi looks up, and Oikawa drags his eyes away. 

Matsukawa laughs quietly as Iwaizumi looks around. “What?”

“Nothing!”

~~~

“What’re we going to do about them?” Hanamaki wonders idly, looking across the gym at Kyoutani and Yahaba, who are steadfastly not looking at each other. Apparently news of his “condition” has spread. “They’ve gotta get it by now, yeah?”

“People can be dense about this sort of thing.” Matsukawa tells him, shrugging.

Hanamaki just wants to be a good upperclassman! He wants to help his poor, stupidly obvious kohai (and good friends, while he’s at it). “Nobody’s that dense.”

“You’d be surprised.” Matsukawa mumbles. Throwing his best friend a glance, Hanamaki wonders for a brief moment if he’s trying to tell him something. Then he decides he’s better off not knowing for now, turning back to the second years.

Kyoutani’s trying to pick a fight without actually looking at Yahaba, something that seems difficult, and the pink haired boy pushes himself out of his stretch. “Okay, you two! We’re doing team bonding!”

“Makki, why are you taking over practice?” Oikawa needles. “Who died and made you captain?”

Hanamaki waves his hand. “Team bonding. Issues are getting resolved.”

“Still -”

“I’ll clean the gym for three days.”

Oikawa pauses. “A week.”

“Five days.” Matsukawa interjects.

“Deal.” Oikawa shakes on it. “Wait, Matsun, why -”

“We all know that if Hanamaki’s doing it, Matsukawa will too. He’s sparing himself work.” Iwaizumi shoves their other kohai into the center.

The fact that everyone else just accepts this, that they’re a package deal, simultaneously makes Hanamaki feel annoyed and pleased. “Let’s go, kiddos! We’re doing emotion time -”

“We did enough of that in English Lit!” Matsukawa heckles, Oikawa groaning in the background.

“We already shook on it!” Hanamaki sticks his tongue out at them. Then he turns to Yahaba and Kyoutani. “Watari, what’s their deal?”

Watari, thoroughly horrified at being called out, presses his hands to his face. “... I would be an extremely poor best friend if I told you.”

“Yahaba,” Oikawa smiles pleasantly, “this is feelings time. And in order for us to escape as quickly as possible, you need to fess up or I’ll do it for you.”

Yahaba whines slightly, then stares at the ceiling. The rest of the team look uncomfortable, curious ranging on bored, or eager to get back to practice. Some look all three. Kindaichi is flopped against Kunimi, Watari’s poking Yahaba, and the other players are sitting cross legged and eyeing either Yahaba or Oikawa as if they hope they’ll be released. Kyoutani appears to be trying to ignore the entire group. In all honesty, it could be working - Hanamaki can’t tell.

“Fine.” The second year setter says at last. “Kyoutani, you annoy the hell out of me.”

Kyoutani - ah, he wasn’t ignoring them that well after all - rolls his eyes. “No shit, sherlock.”

“I’m not done!” Yahaba snaps, begrudging. “Your spikes are powerful. But you need to know how to hit my tosses, because I’m trying - you know I’m trying, right?”

“... yeah, okay.” Kyoutani doesn’t move, but his ears are going pink.

Oikawa flashes a grin. “You don’t get out of this either, Mad Dog-chan!”

“Kyoutani?” Iwaizumi prompts. 

“Your tosses aren’t bad. Even if your voice is annoying.”

Yahaba stiffens. “Great, thanks.”

“Still not done~” Oikawa sing-songs.

Growling, Kyoutani complies, spinning to look into Yahaba’s eyes. “You. Are a good setter. And it pisses me off when you take yourself out of the running for things so quickly.”

Yahaba flushes, ducks his head, and nods. “I’ll try to work on that.”

“Eyyyyyy,” Hanamaki whispers, trying to sew his lips shut. “Does anyone have superglue?”

“If I had superglue, I’d have sealed your mouth shut long ago.”

“How uncouth, Matsun! As the vodka aunt of this team -”

“Wait,” Matsukawa interrupts, “I thought I was the vodka aunt.”

“We’re both the aunt, you dolt. I’m on Iwaizumi’s side of the family.”

Matsukawa accepts this for a moment, the crinkles his nose. “I’m Oikawa’s sibling?”

“Does that mean Iwa-chan and I are married?” Oikawa blurts.

Iwaizumi blinks. “I want a divorce.”

“This family is incredibly dysfunctional.” Watari mumbles.

“No!” Hanamaki wails. “What about the children?” Waving a hand toward their underclassmen, he fakes tears.

“So we’re married, and Oikawa and Iwaizumi are married, and these are all their children… who’re our children?” Matsukawa wonders.

“Kyoutani and Kindaichi are ours, duh.”

“Ah, okay.”

Yahaba buries his face in Watari’s arm, crying silent tears. “Can we get back to practice now?”

“Yes,” Oikawa says, right as Hanamaki announces, “Nope!”

The team whines, casting longing looks at the net. Matsukawa leans back on his arms. “Iwaizumi, Oikawa, get your shit together!”

“Nooooooo,” Oikawa whines. “Don’t make me.”

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes. “What do you want.”

Hanamaki whispers instructions to Watari and Matsukawa (on either side of him), and they pass them down the line. The team perks up as they get the messages, eyes lighting with the promise of embarrassing their captain/co-captain. He raises his hands, then brings them down onto the gym floor with a slight bang. The others take up the rhythm, chanting: “Confess! Confess! Confess!”, laughing all the while.

“Shut up!” Oikawa squeals, slapping the ground himself, before covering his face with his arms.

“I get it!” Iwaizumi yells, pulling Oikawa’s arms away from his face. “Stop doing that.” Oikawa looks at Iwaizumi, causing Hanamaki to mutter “Eyyyyy,” involuntarily. Briefly, Iwaizumi closes his eyes. “Oikawa, I like you. There, I said it, so everyone can shut -” Oikawa tackles him.

“That’s resolved!” Hanamaki says brightly, dusting off his hands. The group stops chanting, rubbing their tired fists, and they laugh together. It’s nice - but it’s not over yet. “One more thing.”

He gets up, holding out a hand. “Matsukawa, care to join me?”

Matsukawa accepts the hand, pulling himself up suspiciously. “What’re you doing?”

“Why haven’t you looked me in the eyes all day?” Hanamaki asks, teasing. He already knows the answer. Matsukawa shrugs, trying to tug his hand out of his friend’s grip. “Ah ah ah! Look at me.”

Sejioh goes quiet. “Matsukawa. Look at me.” It’s important that he looks - not just to find out once and for all what the answer is, but so that Hanamaki can know about something else.

A soulmate is someone who stands with you. As equals, someone who can look you in the eye.

“Look -” Matsukawa lurches forwards, abruptly, eyes closed, and kisses him. Hanamaki leans into him for a long moment, then pulls back. “That’s not looking at me.”

“I like this better?” He offers, team cheering again.

“Yeah,” Hanamaki decides, “I do too.”

~~~

“So really, Makki, how’d you get cursed?” Oikaw asks, hand smugly linked in Iwaizumi’s.

Hanamaki waves his phone, displaying research article. “Turns out it’s hereditary.”

“It is NOT.” Oikawa rolls his eyes.

“Is too!” Hanamaki argues goodnaturedly. “It’s, like - a thing my family goes through. Always third year of high school, but they thought they’d have more time to explain it.”

“Is it over?” Iwaizumi asks.

“Won’t happen again.” he promises. “One time thing.”

“Thank god,” mutters Matsukawa. “The constant “eyy”ing got real old real fast.”

“Wonder if I could convince our kohai that it’s there forever…”

“No, that’s too evil.”

“Worth a shot.”

The world was safe - at least until the next Hanamaki hit third year in… what? Six years?

Yeah, that was plenty of time.

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my tumblr to request a pairing/prompt!
> 
> Tumblr: socially-acceptable-tumblr


End file.
